My Four Inner Demons
by D. E. Hermann
Several years ago, our potter’s guild held an exhibition meant to challenge the members to create work honoring face pots, those vessels with diabolic or frightening facial expressions that are part of our early American history.
My take on the challenge soon became a series of pieces that gave identities to what I call my ‘inner demons’. It became a cathartic experience in that I was able to, since then, work toward reigning in each of these character flaws. Don’t get me wrong. They are still in there, just not as much in control as they used to be.
Since childhood, I have always been slow to wake in the mornings. I even remember a late-sixties orange felt banner hanging in my room depicting a tired Snoopy on his doghouse with the quip printed “I think I am allergic to mornings.” My parents gave me this wall decoration after identifying this flaw early in my life.
I am the person who hits the snooze button half a dozen times or just plain sleeps right through it. If I have a plane to catch or an appointment to get to, I set at least two alarms. One, with a buzzing vibration setting for the hearing impaired, is placed under my pillow. The coffee maker is primed and dripping by the time I shuffle to it. I need at least one hour to sip the brew. That quiet time, usually in the company of my dogs and cats curled up beside or on me, is required to begin any day. Humans are welcome, as long as they do not speak nor expect conversation. As the caffeine wakes the brain cells, thoughts stretch, yawn, and line up to form something close to coherence. The day can finally begin.
As much as I love the docile creatures themselves, my sloth creation has evil eyes, sharp teeth, and menacing claws. The extra-large stoneware mug holds almost six cups of coffee. It stands on three sets of claws, while the fourth appendage forms the handle, its claws holding the rim of the cup. I’ve named him Tarrydawdle, and his snarly face mocks my morning lethargy.
How I tamed Tarrydawdle:
I forced myself to set the alarms for 6:45AM, whether or not I have an appointment. I do have a commitment. I have to punch in to work in the studio or at my laptop at 10AM. No more lollying my gaggy in the mornings. I still take at least an hour with my coffee while waking lethargic brain cells; time I use to journal thoughts or dreams or whatever intelligible phrase may float by. I then use a couple of hours each morning before work to swat away whatever minor interruptions intrude.
Kind reader, I do not pretend to claim this works every day. Tarrydawdle is a strong-willed spirit. But I am getting closer to five days a week, even though it’s taken a couple of years to get this far. My sloth is leashed, but is occasionally allowed to have his way. Who am I to say it’s wrong to occasionally sleep in until mid-morning?
My Four Inner Demons (Part One of Four)
D. E. Hermann, March 2019 ©
Comments